Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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