Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
