This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
