She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
