I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
