I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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