This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
