he shaved USA in his pubs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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