Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
God, I missed his penis.
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