You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
