cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize