U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
