Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
