doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
