I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize