tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
