Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize