Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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