ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
