Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
