HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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