Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
