Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
