I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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