I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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