he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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