Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize