If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
