I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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