im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
