If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
