Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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