If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
