I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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