I bet he comes in French.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
