When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
