K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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