I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
