going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
