i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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