is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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