idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize