We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
