I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
