I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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