remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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