yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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