loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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