i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i dont even know how to be here
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
