I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
