It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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