I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize