Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
