Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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