Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
