Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize