I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
