he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
