Screwed.edu
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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