I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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